I know. It's been a while since I have posted here. Life has been crazy. And most of my time in the last few months has been directed toward dealing with all of the changes life has handed me. Which hasn't left any time for journaling, making art, or even thinking. Mostly it's felt a lot like survival.
I lost my father just over two moths ago. It was a sudden and unexpected death. And it happened six weeks before my wedding. Even now I have a hard time accepting that he is gone. There are moments when I forget. I expect him to be there, as he always has been, in his home-office working away on his computer. And then there are moments when the reality of my loss is raw and all-consuming. But I know that grief is a process and it takes time. For now I'm just trying to have faith in my ability to move forward and to make my way through the process.
Recently I've started to try to get organized around the house. I've been spending time on yard work and putting away all the lovely wedding gifts we have received. I started back on Weight Watchers and am looking forward to getting in better shape this summer.
Yesterday I got back in the studio for the first time since my dad passed. I guess I had been avoiding it as a way to avoid having to deal with my loss. But I've been so unhappy and empty without doing art that I know that I need to get back to work. I was a bit rusty and lost in starting again. I was faced with all the unfinished projects that were meant to be included in the Artomatic 419! last month. Unfortunately I wasn't able to finish the projects or participate in the exhibit due to the loss of my father. So I've started puttering around in the studio again. Trying to get back in the groove. I'm still feeling a bit out of sorts, but have enjoyed getting back in there and getting my hands dirty again. I hope to have some finished projects to share soon.
